{Physician} When the Healing Doesn't Come

God is Jehovah Rophi, the God who heals. He is Physician.

With one touch of his garment His power floods our being.

But what happens when the healing doesn't come? 
That's right. God remains Jehovah Rophi, the God who heals. He is physician.

All those precious hours spent in prayer for healing are not considered lost. God heard each and ever one of them. God counted each and every one of my tears. He knows me; and He not only knows, but He cares.

On a faithful February night, the Women's Night in Prayer at Solid Rock (PDX) took place. This is probably the third highlight of my year next to July 4th and being a counselor at Sunday School camp. 

I knew this was going to be a night in prayer to remember. I was so excited to see what Name of God card I would receive. There are about 30 cards with a name of God (eg. Physician, Jealous God, the God who sees me etc.) The women of solid rock take the time to actually pray over these cards that they are received by the right hearts.

Whoever prayed over mine, God heard them loud and clear. 

I got |Physician.|

How timely.

I had a feeling deep down inside of me I'd get this one.

My mama was slowly fading away from this physical world. I'm sure by that time, she's gotten some sort of a taste of God's dwelling. I still had hope. I wasn't letting her go without a good prayer battle. Boy, it was more like a war.

My heart and hopes were over the moon when I got this card! It motivated me to intercede even harder in prayer. 

I was NOT giving up.

I even showed it to my mom and told her she ain't goin' nowhere!

The healing that {I} thought was promised to me through the card... it never came.

God wasn't the Physician in the fashion I wanted Him to be. He didn't fix what I wanted Him to fix.

Nonetheless, He truly is Physician. He is currently fixing.

Little did I know, God wasn't going to be a Physician to my mama but a Physician to my family and I. To heal the open wound left when she was torn out of our lives.

So far, God has healed me of the "why's", "it's not fair's," and "that's not what I asked of You's." Right now, He's working on a bigger wound. A wound I left untreated and denied.

The sadness. The depression. The anxiety. The vacancy left in my heart and life.

I've heard people tell me and admire me for my strength... if they only knew.

But, that's all a part of strength. Admitting to weakness, knowing you can't get through this all on your own with no support. I can't deny the pain left with my mama's departure. It hurts. But I am surviving. 


I can't say that healing didn't come. It did. In a different manifestation.

Healing came with wisdom and learning a heck of a lot of things about life.

I still believe. God never changes. He will always be Physician to me.

|He is healing.|

Sure & Certain

|"Now, faith is being sure of what we hope for 

and certain of what we do not see.

By faith we understand that the universe was formed 

at God's command,

so that what is seen

was not made out of what was visible."|

-Hebrews 11v1;3-  

Lately, I've been clinging to these verse. I suppose it reminds me of the vast power and authority of Yahweh.        

                                      |"...the universe was formed at God's command..." |

We are a work of art; we were created by an artist. Now that I think deeper into this metaphor, we are an unfinished work of art. God is constantly fixing the smudges, smoothing edges, trimming us.

We have to trust God--the artist--that he knows full well what He's doing. We must have faith that, in the end, there will be a beautiful finished product. We hope He will work out in a favorable outcome.


In the times where we are put to the test--being put through fire-- the last thing we should do is lose hope and faith; because it is the most lonely and scary feeling any one will ever feel.

There is a huge mountain in my life right now. Most people are saying, "It cannot be moved," pitifully purse their lips, shake their head and apologize.

"It is TOO big!" they say...

...but in my mind, I say, "HA! They do not know how capable my God is." I laugh in the face of their doubt. And, I laugh in the face of my own doubts.

In the presence of Yahweh, there is no room for disease, darkness, addictions, depression. He is the creator of everything good. 

Having faith and believing the blood of Jesus heals is not enough. Proclaim! that the blood of Jesus has already healed.

|"Your faith has healed you..."| 

-Mark 10v52- 

 

|...by his wounds we are healed.|

-Isaiah 53v5-

How can I lose faith in my precious Lord? Why would I? After all he's done for me. After all the mercy and grace he pours over me every day. He's been faithful to answer me and to be next to me when ever I call on him, he's doing the same right now. 

He is an unchanging God. Miracles didn't just happen in Bible times. 

{they're happening as we speak}

I ran away to the sea last night

I ran away. 
|I ran towards the sea|.
I ran because I was confused; scared. 
The tides are high in my life;
 the waters are coming up a little too close for comfort. 

As {daylight} wisps away, 
the tide grows closer to shore. 
|However|, the tides know what they're doing. 
 They aren't just some untamed anomaly. 
The bright moon leads and guides them in and out.  

Ultimately, that moon is our Creator, no?
 I can just see Him now;
his silky, white beard, bow-tie, 
His almighty hands conducting and orchestrating the movements of each wave. 
Each wave never getting closer than what His hands had conducted. 

They pause when His hands pause. 
They intensify as He conducts. 
The tides never miss a beat, |never| go over the mark.
Residence on shore can go about life in peace knowing the tides will never get higher than what is safe.