A rare except from The Chronicles of Brit: Vol. 3| Tales for Thou, My Beloved.
I've been keeping journals ever since I was in 5th grade. I remember my first one. It was a pink velvet Power Puff Girls themed journal with a lock and key. I received it for my birthday. Unfortunately, that journal is no more. I had a moment in middle school where I found it, read it and I thought what I had written in it was so dumb. This resulted in me throwing it into the fire place. Can you say, "awkward years?"
I now have three journals and actively searching for home No. 4 for my thoughts. Vol. 3 is a rare one. Its contents I cannot say. However, upon reading through it last night I came across an entry that I felt to share.
I wrote this a few weeks prior to my mom's passing. The things I wrote may be obvious, but writing it brought me so much comfort. Of course this life is temporary--but I needed that comforting reminder. With that said, my apologies if this post makes no sense. (Sorrynotsorry.)
|The Beginning of the End|
Each minute that passes, passes with unimaginable intensity & mystery now more than ever. Some moments in my day I find it hard to keep anchored on the shores of hope & sanity.
Jesus wept.
So can I.
I just can't lose hope & joy.
If I do, my life automatically becomes a freight train headed toward a brick wall at full speed. Yeah, that's a disaster. And a disaster is not what I want my life to become.
I know one day the spontaneous episodes of weeping will stop. I hope sooner than later because it really does make me look like a train wreck.
There's nothing anybody can do when faced with the beginning of the end.
No matter how tenaciously we grip onto our or someone else life; it's just wasted strength & energy.
Our lives are not ours to hold on to; they're not for our specific use.
Throughout the course of our lives society brainwashes our thought process into thinking that the life we have
is for us to have.
That way & scheme of thinking is nothing but a road map to
the heart of sadness,
hopelessness &
empty memories...
...population one.
How prideful is it to think this life was made for us to merely live.
Life is more intricate than we could ever imagine.
We were all so delicately planned into existence... for a sole purpose--God's purpose.
We can't waste our time trying to figure out God's intentions.
Just be.
Live.
Live by bringing Him glory..
Life isn't permanent.
It's like the grains of beautiful, soft sand slipping away through our fingers.
Temporary.
This "life" here, in the moment...it's temporary.
That life, that other one that can occur at any moment, I believe that's when LIFE truly begins.
When we enter a realm of perfection, peace & rest.
I'm sitting here writing these words at my favorite coffee shop; leaving my heart open for Jesus to enter, to breath comforting words into my life.
Some may see it as a disaster when the beginning of the end arrives because we're departed from a body we once embraced & saw.
The love we developed in our hearts is everlasting & hopeful... because that's what love is.
It always hopes.
It's the beginning of a new beginning & a new normal. Kiss them farewell, it's been a beautiful journey.
I'll see you soon enough.
