One|Year

Yesterday, 25 March, marks one calendar year since she got to where she was going.

I had been long dreading this one year mark. It wasn't so bad. I wasn't sad, rather, I was happy. I'm happy she isn't suffering the pain of flesh. I know for a fact she is rejoicing in her glorified, young, healthy body. 

To this day, I still can't make myself go to the cemetery. Last May I was forced to go for Mother's day & that was the last time I went.

I don't want to visit her remains. That stuff in the ground is of this world. Those remains caused her & my family so much pain. Those remains aren't her. 

Her soul... is her. 

Though I cannot feel the vibration of life around me I can feel her spirit & all the memories I have of her make her come to life inside of me. 

The day after, I started reading a book called "Life After Life." It's a book by Dr. Moody who studied over 150 cases of clinical deaths in the 1970s. The people he interviewed had physically died at one point & came back to life.

For some of the subjects, the interview was their first time speaking & acknowledging to another person their death experience.

There was one common denominator in passing that stuck out to me: hearing music.

I can just imagine the huge celebration that went on when all the Heavenlies welcomed my mom into everlasting. I can only imagine the beautiful music she heard the moment her soul pulled out of her flesh & into destination: eternity. 

I think of that moment as "when heaven came crashing into earth." 

This song below reminds me of the morning my mama passed. A picture of heaven is painted when I listen to the beginning orchestra part.

That early morning heaven, for a moment, touched earth.

 

I remember that Monday morning. I will never forget it. It was literally the most beautiful day outside that I have ever experienced. It was warm; the sun rays hugged my cold, confused body. I remember sitting on the steps in my back yard reading the plethora of loving & encouraging text messages from friends. 

There was no wind that day but the wind chimes composed the most beautiful song. With no wind. At that time, I had a feeling... my mom.  

God, I miss her.

I miss the beauty of her spirit. I see a similar beauty in the sunsets & sunrises, Springtime & hauntingly beautiful rainy days.

Her anniversary of passing holds beauty to me. The barrier between heaven & earth was thin--tangible. 

Someone I love is in heaven, so heaven is THAT much closer to me.