Thoughts in the {raw}

"|It's in transitions that we are strengthened, that our character builds & we really discover who we are & what we want from life. It's when we let go of  our preconceptions that we find our true purpose.|"

 -anonymous-

Our preconceptions. Your preconceptions. My preconceptions. If only we had that mighty pen in our weary 

little hands to write out the blueprints to our future.

What would your life look like this very moment; if all the pain and transitions-- if you were able to hit the "backspace" key on all of it?

I've been pondering this thought lately. If I could've snatched that pen from my Creator and erase all the pain I've felt and the unfortunate situations, where would I be now? Would I truly be happy? Would I be on the path that would shape into the person God intended me to be?

To be honest, sure, I would have been extremely content with having my mama still alive. Goodness, that would be so wonderful. However, I truly think I would be in a boring, polluted, stagnant puddle of "me". 

I would probably continue living a callous life on my own insipid mountain of my own preconceptions of my life.

Thinking of my past makes me sad. Thinking of my future just scares me. It scares me because the plans 

I see in the future are self-conceived not Holy Spirit conceived.

Being tossed into stormy, uncharted waters forces us to call upon Abba Father; we realize we NEED Him.

We would never intentionally throw ourselves into a hurricane for the fun of it. I think most of us prefer smooth sailing on nice sunny days.

 Like that famous quote says,

 |"Smooth sailing never made a skilled sailor."|

I've been promoted to sail into the unknown; to discover new and wonderful things; to sail so far into the darkness of the unknown that I am able to see stars that only I get to see.

This whole "not knowing", I love it. 

I lost my own preconception and my own hand-drawn map of my life amidst the storm.

My plans sucked anyway.

My coordinates most likely wouldn't have lead me to Christ. 

I'm here, sailing an unknown sea without my own navigation. 

My trust in my God, I have released anchor to. 

I have no reason to sob over my own lost plans to my life.

Better ones are in the making.

God is pinpointing coordinates leading me to {amazing} places and people.

Until I reach my first coordinate destination (I sure hope it's literally a destination, I could use a vacation!), 

I'm learning to embrace life & it's crazy ambiguity.